There’s no rulebook for parenting. Often, parents wonder if they’re doing the right thing when it comes to raising their kids. Perhaps that’s why this mother’s actions after she found out her son had been bullying a female classmate have been so widely applauded. The way she handled herself — and her son — is truly inspiring.
A British Mom Makes a Horrifying Discovery
Earlier this year, 32-year-old single mom Samm Jane received a phone call from her 12-year-old son’s school. Apparently, her kid had been throwing pencils in class. Furthermore, the woman on the phone informed Jane that her child had been sending undisclosed, nasty text messages to another girl in his class.
Jane decided to share the story, as well as how she parented the situation, in a now-viral TikTok video.
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“I asked who it was, but they couldn’t say because of data protection,” Jane explained to the Daily Mail. “So I was sitting on this information for three hours until my son got home from school. I needed to know what he said. I never thought he’d be like this, I’d raised him to never disrespect a girl.”
When her son got home, Jane made him unlock his phone and was horrified at the mean text and voice messages her son had sent. “He’d sent this girl texts saying, ‘I never want to see your ugly face in school. Your ugly face and fat body offend me,’” she explained.
“I was shaking with anger. I was livid. I was like, ‘What are you playing at?’ and my son goes, ‘She does my head in at school.’”
She Showcases Admirable Parenting
Jane knew she had to make the situation right and teach her son how his words affect others. “I told him, ‘She’s going to be looking in the mirror now and feeling so insecure,’ I couldn’t let it go,” she continued.
Jane put on her sleuthing cap and found out where the girl lived. She then took money from her son’s piggy bank, used it to buy flowers and chocolates, and marched her kid over there.
“I told him we were going around to apologize. Not only to the girl but to her parents, to her aunts, to her uncles, to whoever was in that house,” Jane said. “I walked him down to the girl’s house, and I was fuming. I knocked on the door, and the girl answered.”
Jane asked the girl to get her parents and then made her son apologize to all of them. “The girl accepted the apology, he gave her the flowers and the chocolates. I said, ‘He will never speak to you like that again.’”
To ensure she could keep an eye on the situation and her son, Jane gave her number to the girl’s parents and her address. She told them if there were any other problems, they could contact her so they could all work it out together.
Jane also took away her son’s electronics for a week and made sure to drive home just how harmful bullying can be. “I’m raising a man. My son doesn’t have that male role model, so I have to teach him how to be a man and make sure he’s respectful to people,” she explained. “As a single mum, I’ve tried to do my best by him. For him to disrespect a female, it feels like he is disrespecting me.”
The good news is her son seems to have learned from his mistakes, and now Jane reveals he and the girl are friends. “He disappointed me. He’s absolutely taken it on board since. The two of them are friends now, it just shows how forgiving and kind she is. She’s a lovely girl,” Jane added.
Her Message on Raising Sons Touches the Masses
Since Jane shared the video, it’s gone viral, with many parents and teens reaching out to her to thank her for how she handled the situation. “What a great mother. Honestly, you could have defended him like many mothers do, but you treated it well,” one person wrote in the video’s comments.
“Amazing parenting. The son will mature into a grown man and not an immature boy because of you and I respect that massively,” wrote another.
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“It’d be so much easier if parents taught their boys – and girls – to apologize and to make up,” Jane added to the Daily Mail. “I was so shocked by the reaction. I got teary when I saw people complimenting my parenting. My phone was going mad for like three days,” she continued.
“If a million people have seen that video, then a million parents can make a change.”
It Takes a Village to Raise Men
When we have kids, it can be easy to only see the good in them. But sometimes, it takes a strong parent to realize their kids are in the wrong and deal with the situation or behavior before it worsens. Jane’s story is a perfect example of that, and now many people applaud her.
If you’re a parent, try and keep the lines of communication open with your kids, their teachers and any volunteers who may be in their lives. We don’t always know what our kids do, but by keeping an ear to the ground and being ready to guide and lead them when a situation does arise, we can all be better prepared.
If you’re not a parent or if it’s another kid whose behavior has affected your family, however, this story also reminds us of the power of forgiveness and understanding. Bullying is never okay, and driving that message home in a show of unity can be powerful. The parents in this situation agreed to work together, and now their kids are friends — and that’s a beautiful ending for a story that started out quite ugly.